Today marks week 24 of my twin pregnancy and the time is very quickly ticking away! We have everything we need for the babies except I still have to arrange capsule hire and we still need to buy a new car that will fit our new family of 6 in.
Now that the end of the pregnancy is in sight, I am becoming terrified of the birth yet excited. My last birth ended up in an emergency c-sec and it was horrible - not so much the procedure or even the recovery but the feelings of failure that I couldn't do what my body was meant to - birth my baby.
I also suffered from PND afterwards not sure if it was related but they do link the two.
The plan with the twins is a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Caesarean) but I am keeping an open mind that IF and only IF the safety of my babies or me is jeopordised then we will opt for a c-sec. Hopefully I will be doing a calmbirth course or hypnobirth. I just have to find someone available and find the funds for it as the courses although worth it are quite pricey.
I also plan on breastfeeding something else my body or rather my own mind has failed at. Both my girls were never fed past 3 months mainly because I listened to everyone else not myself. This time i WILL do it, we will succeed. Yes it will be hard, very hard! But I am willing to jump those hurdles and not look back.
My main fear that has come to light lately is jumping from 2 children to 4 all living at home full time. I have my days now where with 2 I feel I cannot cope so it will be interesting to see how this unravels!
Anyway I best go and do the school and day care run (today is my youngests day in day care where i run around like a headless chook trying to get everything done!)
Pic to come soon :)
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